A love
story
by Ad Somsen [98]
In June 1951 I was approached by a classmate called Houttuinen whose Christian name I have
forgotten. We were both in the fourth class of the Christian High School in the
Oosterpark in Amsterdam-East. He asked me if I would like to correspond with a
Portuguese girl in French who was two years older than me and who was also a
high school student. My first reaction was far from positive. I already had an
English pen pal. Moreover, I had a very busy life, played football, was a
member of youth-clubs and had to do my final exam after a year. But anyway I
agreed, for a Portuguese pen pal was something quite different when all is said
and done and besides I did not know very much about Portugal. This made me
curious. So I wrote my first, rather short letter in French to Tereza in
Portugal.
A week later I already received a reply and to
my surprise and relief in English. I had written that English was easier for me
than French. In my opinion it was a fairly long, elaborate and interesting
letter, which totally caught me. Tereza, for that matter, was very good at
expressing her thoughts in the written and spoken language and even in
different languages.
In the process matters developed. We made such
deep impressions on each other through our letters, in which we did not conceal
the truth, that after a couple of months in which we wrote letters practically
every week, we both arrived at the conclusion that there was more behind our
correspondence.
Still our first encounter took place as late as the summer of
1953, so two years after we had started writing to each other. In The Hague at
the Hollands Spoor Station we met for the first time. Tereza had started
studying Dutch in the meantime and had taken regular lessons from the secretary
of Mr Van Kleffens, the envoy in Lisbon at the time, for there was not yet a
Dutch Embassy then. When this secretary, Gerda Smits, told her that the Dutch
lessons had to be interrupted because she would go to The Netherlands for a
holiday – this was still the custom at the time! – Tereza asked her if there
was still place for her in her luggage, since she wanted to go to The
Netherlands so badly. Gerda knew about our correspondence and she also knew
Tereza’s parents. After Gerda’s parents had given the green light and after the
objections of Tereza’s parents had been cleared, preparations were made.
Tereza’s mother realized that it was quite well
possible that the relationship would have lasted its longest if once we would
meet. For after all it is
quite a job to love each other from a distance.
Thus Maria Tereza (Tereza) Pool Da Costa [461]
and I met for the first time in July 1953. It was not a disappointment as some
had hoped. It strengthened our feelings for each other and we were sure that we
wanted to share the rest of our lives. My parents were also far from
enthusiastic: a different nationality, a totally different stock, a different
church, so more than enough objections. But our love for each other flourished
and became stronger and though we had no idea how to solve the problems the
final goal was clearly visible.
Tereza and Ad in the
Alblasserwaard
August 1953
In the summer of 1954 I went to Portugal for the first time
for about three weeks. In 1955, late February, just before I had to serve in
the army, I went again, almost for four weeks.
That year Tereza came to The Netherlands in the
summer, just that one time. That was very revolutionary in Portugal in the
fifties. Girls were still being chaperoned! Thereza’s parents though were far
ahead of their time and they had learnt what their daughter wanted and they had
also got to know me in the flesh. Still the condition was made that Tereza was
not allowed to sleep in our house. A good friend of mine, Joop Visser, a
brother of my future brother-in-law, was immediately prepared to clear his
bedroom. Tereza was allowed to stay there for almost three months.
That same year, 1955, in September, Tereza’s parents and
brother came over – they were making a roundtrip through France, Germany,
England and The Netherlands – and we engaged to be married. Yet Tereza went
back home to Portugal all alone at the end of October 1955. Until I came to
Portugal for good in August 1956 we had a very difficult time. But we both
managed to come through that period as well. We had decided to try and build up
a living in Portugal first. If I would not be able to find a job we would move
somewhere else, but not to The Netherlands, though Tereza did not object to
this. Tereza’s father could help me to get a work permit as a correspondent in
foreign languages but he could not give me a job. So fairly soon after I had
arrived in Portugal I started to apply for jobs, though my Portuguese was still
poor.
It is beyond description how many papers are needed for this. Yet after having conquered so many barriers this bureaucratic obstacle was just a mere trifle.
We rented a flat in Lisbon, for there was no housing shortage here like in The Netherlands in those years. I worked and Tereza was to finish her study of History and Philosophy in 1958. My parents and a friendly couple, the parents of my brother-in-law Geo Visser, Geo and Diny, my sister, all came to the wedding-ceremony. And of course Gerda Smits, the secretary of the Dutch envoy was present there. My classmate Bijerbracht of High School was not there. Unfortunately I have totally lost touch with him. My sister Diny and my future brother-in-law Geo were godfather and godmother on my part and Tereza’s parents on her part. Without godparents a wedding is not possible in Portugal.
In May 1958 Elisabeth was born, and well over a year afterwards in August 1959 Paul Hendrik (Paulo Henrique) and again after more than a year Anna Louise (Ana Luisa). We really wanted to have a very large family. In those days it was still possible to get more than sufficient domestic help and, moreover, Tereza’s mother was always willing to help. Soon our apartment became too small. We moved to a larger apartment in March 1959 and in May 1961 to a bigger detached house
with a garden in Oeiras, twenty minutes by train
Amsterdam, August 1955 in
the parental home
of Gus, Ad and Diny. 1st
row, l-r: Geo Visser [460]
and Diny Somsen [99], Elly
Velders [469] and Gus
Somsen [97]. In front:
Tereza Poole Da Costa [461] and Ad Somsen [98]
from Lisbon and close to the beach.
Before Elisabeth was born in 1958, the owner of the cork company where I worked died and the company was terminated. In the meantime I had become known in this branch and actually I was immediately offered a new job with a higher salary. I worked there for well over a year when I discovered that the financial situation was far from healthy and that payments for goods delivered were made with great delay. I decided to give notice, I had a contract with a mutual period of notice of three months and in the meantime I had also become a confidential clerk. I started looking for a job elsewhere and from the north of Portugal and the Algarve I received offers.
Tereza’s parents were not so pleased that their daughter with two grandchildren at that time would leave for the north of Portugal or for the Algarve. In those days the roads were not in such a condition that it was possible to travel fast, whereas the possession of a car was an unheard-of luxury as well. At the instigation of Tereza’s mother my father-in-law suggested that I should start a business of my own with his financial support.
Thus our firm was established at the end of 1959 with only three people at the time. Later in the seventies and eighties there were about 50 people and by now it has reduced to well over twenty employees.
We had to work hard and also today we have to make long days, but Tereza always completely supported the idea of having a business of our own. Although she sometimes complained that I never took a holiday. She took care of the upbringing of our children and only in the weekends I went with the children for a walk on Sunday afternoons. They still talk about this now. Õ
After Anna Louise’s (Ana Luisa) birth in 1960, Jan Pieter (João Pedro) was born in August 1962, Frederik (Frederico) in March 1965, Michiel Karel (Miguel Carlos) in June 1967 and Dina Maria in June 1969. A splendid large family of seven children.
In September 1979 we moved into a bigger house, also in Oeiras. The house where we had lived since 1961 was a rental house and when the owner retired in 1979 he could legally claim his house. Tereza started looking for owner-occupied houses in the neighbourhood, which was not very easy at first, but on the other hand it was not a very serious problem either. Because of the revolution of 1974 the housing market had collapsed and thus we found our present house, which we moved into in September 1979 after quite a few alterations.
That same year, 1979, our eldest daughter Elisabeth married Orlando Diogo and meanwhile two children were born: João in 1987 and Sophia in 1989.
Our second daughter Anna Louise married Achim Koehl in 1987 and though they lived in Germany, they married in Portugal. This marriage was broken up in the meantime, but a son called Udo was born in 1990. Anna Louisa has found a new partner, Folker Heilmann, with whom she is very happy.
Jan Pieter (João Pedro), our fourth child, married Fatima Ferreira in 1988 and has three children: Madalena, born in 1990, Pedro Miguel, born in 1992 and Guilherme, born in 1994. This marriage was broken up in the meantime. Pieter has found a new partner in life, Lurdes Bento, with whom he is very happy.
Portugal
Ad and
Tereza,
Summer 1997
married
40 years
Paul Hendrik (Paulo Henrique), our eldest son, married Sandra Cunha in 1989 and has two children: Alfonso, born in 1994 and Laura, born in 1997.
Frederik (Frederico) hopes to get married with Filipa Veiga in November 2000. Both Miguel and Dina are single. They lead their own lives and come home quite regularly.
So life is very intense and joyful days and sad days take turns. The Somsen have been fully integrated in Portugal and they do not have the Dutch nationality anymore, except me and Anna Louisa, who was allowed to keep two nationalities since she lives in a so-called third country. Her sisters and brothers, however, think she is completely integrated in the German society, which I believe to be no disadvantage. All the more since the influence of Tereza and of Portugal is definitely still strongly present. Udo, her son, for that matter, speaks Portuguese fairly well.
In April 1999 Tereza died of a heart failure one month after she had had an operation because cancer had been discovered. She was not yet 66 and I miss her presence every day. We had a blessed life together but we would have liked it to last a little longer. Today I look back much more instead of looking forward but I thank God for the more than 45 years that I knew her and loved her.
In the summer of 1997 we celebrated the 40th anniversary of our marriage with a party for the children, grandchildren, relatives and close friends.
One day after our party some of them left for the Somsen Reunion in Aalten including our son Frederik. A couple of weeks later he came Õ
back home together with ‘our American cousin’ John Somsen and his mother Janet after a trip by car through Western Europe. John and Janet stayed here for a very short time but I hope it was not the last time.
We have always kept good relationships with my Dutch relatives. My parents used to come here in May – the month with so many anniversaries – and until 1985 when they were here for the last time, these were unforgettable times. The contacts with my brother Gus and his wife Elly and my sister Diny and her husband Geo have been very frequent, both by letter and by phone, especially since April 1999, after Tereza’s death. I even quite regularly hear from cousins of the Somsen-Bolnes branch and I also know that they organise their family reunion regularly. Here we also get together every second or third month, for that matter, mostly here at home – the house is big and has a large garden – and then there is a barbecue at the end of July. Or we stay inside in winter and put two large tables side by side or we eat from trays like in MacDonald’s.
What is the future like for the Somsen name in Portugal? Among the grandchildren there are three ‘full’ Somsen boys and two ‘full’ Somsen girls. Moreover, the children usually bear the mother’s surname as well in Portugal so that another two ‘half’ Somsens can be added. So this is very promising for the future.
The Somsens seem to thrive well everywhere, taking into account that full cooperation of the other sex calls the tune. ¦
"Remember
me in the family tree --
My name, my days, my strife;
Then I'll ride on the wings of time
And live an endless life."
Goetsch
EVER TAKEN A SNAPSHOT?
Those who visit our website on the
Internet 1)
www.eastlongmeadow.org/xs/index.htm are due for a surprise.
If you click on the section Family Photos you will find hundreds of
pictures of family members. John Howard Somsen
has developed
this photo album and is trying to make it as
complete as possible.
If he can lay hands on a picture just anywhere
he immediately adds
it to his collection.The board is exceptionally
pleased with this initiative
and we will try to supply John with the
pictures still missing whenever possible. But…nor do we have pictures of every
member of our family at our disposal.
Therefore we call in your assistance. Help us
to complete our Family Photos!
Proceed as follows then:
1.
See if
your picture (or pictures of other family members) is already
in
Family Photos.
2.
If
not, start looking for clear pictures of yourself and other family
members in your own
photo albums.
3.
Supply
the name(s) of the person(s) in the picture(s) and their
P-number(s).
4.
Mail
the pictures to Theo Somsen if you live in Europe or to John
Howard Somsen if you
live in the USA, Canada or elsewhere outside
Europe.
5.
After
that the pictures have been added to Family
Photos you will get
the originals back for
sure.
Note 1: The
addresses of Theo and John can be found on page 2.
Note 2: If
you have a scanner it is better of course to mail your picture
directly
to John. Please work with the 25% scale.
1) four photo examples from Family
Photos